yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
