I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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