im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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