Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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