i think my mom watched the whole time
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
