It's Friday. Sex?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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