I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
