I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
time to smoke my breakfast
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
