You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
