the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
