How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
