I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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