How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize