Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize