I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
