I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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