Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
