Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
