I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize