I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
