shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
