Someone shit on the floor
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Boobs are out for the taking
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize