First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
