the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
