Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
