yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
