Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
