he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
