Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
