4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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