gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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