i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
