Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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