i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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