So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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