I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
