he thought i was a dude.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
