haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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