omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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