she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
