I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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