I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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