We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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