so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
