Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
