just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
