Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
