It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
