my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
