it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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