Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
