It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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