God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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