Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
