i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
