You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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