Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
