so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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